Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
