Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
