So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
