You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
