im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
