Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
