I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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