turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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