Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
