I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
