How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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