Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
