if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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