Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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