in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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