i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
