The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
