So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
