The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
