tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
