these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
