After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
