everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
