I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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