she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
