let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
