Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
