Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
