It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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