Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize