My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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