Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
