You're completely useless in the revolution.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
