if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
