making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is wine microwaveable?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
