cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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