I want to stick my p in your. b.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize