margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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