Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
