Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
