Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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