I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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