New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
