Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Can I color on your dick again?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
