I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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