Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
