I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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