I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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