mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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