is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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