You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
