it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize