Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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