I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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