By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
