Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
