It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
