I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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