btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
