Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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