if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I need a beard to bite.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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