When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
