More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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