we made out on top of his cat.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
