I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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