I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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