so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize